“Chocolate Milk Beverage,” WTF?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Beatrice 1L Chocolate Milk Beverage

Beatrice 1L Chocolate Milk Beverage

I love milk.  It’s probably the only thing keeping me alive given my absurd diet, or lack thereof.  When I’m eating out or if it’s on sale at the grocery store I’ll often treat myself to a nice tasty Chocolate Milk.  I figure it’s the next best thing to white milk and way better than washing down a meal with sugar water pop.

I have noticed lately that  Beatrice brand 1% Partly Skimmed Chocolate Milk is being replaced by ’1% Chocolate Milk Beverage’ in packaging that looks almost identical on store shelves.  As a connoisseur of Chocolate Milk I’m intrigued, and ready to take offence at what I find.  Yes, messing with Chocolate Milk is offensive.  And so the question must be asked, open-mindedly of course:  What the fuck is Chocolate Milk Beverage?

Read the rest of this entry »


Hallowe’en Candy

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Hallowe’en for adults just isn’t the same as when we’re kids.  For starters, we don’t have to work for it anymore.  We can go buy candy any time we want.  And we get to buy the stuff we like.  None of those cheap lollipops and granola bars that taste like sand.

I have been entirely useless this Sunday.  I went and picked up a whole lot of half-price Hallowe’en candy yesterday and am now wishing I hadn’t.  I’m now keenly aware that I’ve consumed calories in excess of my dietary requirements.  The doctor-reporter on CityNews said an extra 100 calories per day is enough to gain weight.  Shit. Each one of those ‘fun-sized’ chocolate bars has 50-100 calories.  How many have I had today…?  Ugh.

And Hallowe’en is just the beginning of holiday gluttony.  As we get closer to Christmas, pound-packing candies, chocolates, egg nog and alcohol are plentiful.  Then there’s the actual sit-down turkey-and-stuffing dinner with no shortage of food topped off with calorie-rich gravy and desserts.  Mmmm.  I can count the kilos already.

One change I’ve noticed since I was a kid at Hallowe’en is the chocolate bars are getting smaller!  No, it’s not me that’s gotton bigger.   Hallowe’en Mars bars used to be about 1/3 of a full-sized Mars bar.  Now they’re tiny little bite-sized things.  WTF?  I’ve noticed the same thing with Oh Henry’s.  Reese Peanut Butter Cups seem to be about 80% of the size of the real thing.  Is this a reaction to kids getting fat, or a marketing decision based on selling Hallowe’en candy on quantity?

If there was a point to this post, it has escaped me.  Don’t eat too much candy.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.